I find myself in crowded spaces feeling eyes on me in a way I never have before,
Living with social anxiety looked like assuming everyone thought the worst of me, at all times.
Now I find myself unconcerned, unamused and unworried.
I shower myself with positivity constantly, just because.
I didn’t notice my ebbing desire to be rewarded, affirmed and praised by others until it was but a whisper every time I’m in a crowded space.
At first, I thought my growing locs were the source of my newfound confidence and self-assurance but now I think I was giving my physical appearance too much credit.
During the last year, I worked tirelessly to redefine beauty for myself.
I stripped myself of all things and became comfortable with myself on a fundamental level.
My understanding of self-love shifted drastically as I read books, meditated, increased the frequency of my therapy sessions and affirmed myself daily.
I questioned EVERYTHING and found myself in the midst of a difficult metamorphosis for MONTHS
So ofcouse when the transition is over and I’ve finally emerged; I see the world differently and the world receives me differently.
As my hair shifted and changed, my energy did the same because the two journeys were strategically timed.
All at the same time, I found myself, the easiest path to return to myself, became a safe space and began a hair journey I’ve felt called to for years.
For a long time, I’ve wanted to figure out who I am and what I have to offer this world and though I may not have the exact answer to both of those questions, I do know I’m closer to discovering those things than ever before.
I allowed self-love and self-discovery to shift my energy and now the love I have inside is given back to me ten-fold.
I could go on an on about this topic for hours but I just wanted to metaphorically dip my toe into this topic briefly today.
Happy Self-Love Sunday everyone!
Know that you are loved, valued, and worthy.