I Wrote These

Poems of the week

1.

Knowing that my pain is secondary to ensuring [your] comfort is heartbreaking.

Rationality leaves the table when [you don’t] get what [you] want and I fear I see myself shifting into [your] form, wearing [your] shed skin, becoming the things I feared and hated my entire life.

I pray I heal.

I pray I forgive [you].

I pray I forgive myself.

2.

Oh to be loved by you,

The only way I can explain our love is

Heat of midsummer, clear skies bringing us of weeks of drought, yet the flowers are in full bloom.

In the midst of chaos, your love for me remained.

Now I mourn the me who loved you.

I mourn the you who loved me.

There are many things I mourn that I will only ever tell you.

3.

This is a continuation of the previous poem

Mostly because love and loss are my favorite languages and our story is full of both.

I compare every man to you,

I dress them up in your clothes then ask why they’re uncomfortable.

I still search for you at stop lights, in instagram stories and most recently in my own reflection.

I pray that when you think of love, you remember my warmth.

You thought me beautiful when I saw flaw.

You thought me worthy when I saw inadequacy.

I suppose that’s why you still haunt my dreams.

I suppose that’s why I’ve been looking for you ever since the day you left.