Self-Evaluation

I’ve been so busy with school and everything that came along with the onset of it, that I haven’t been checking the activity on my website. There was a point during the summer where I checked every single day and I became frustrated when certain posts didn’t get a lot of views.

Side note: I don’t write for gratification. I don’t write for acknowledgment. I don’t write for the opportunity to be viewed as intelligent or successful. I share my thoughts because I know people can relate to them. I share my words because I feel impressed to encourage. I write to cope with the many things life throws my way. I write to release my ankles from the weights that are the words I keep in my throat. I write to stay afloat, (maybe one day I’ll fully explain all of my water analogies…if not on this platform, I plan to do it in my book).

However, even though my heart is in the right place,  I found myself stuck in the mindset that if not many people viewed the post, my goal to inspire, encourage and spread awareness wasn’t met. I’m often my toughest critic and I had to step back and ask myself why I was so overwhelmed with this negative thinking. I had to do a little self-evaluating, and I wanted to share a look into that process….

Welcome to the mind of Briana where we dispel all negative thinking (not immediately though, I’m still working on not wallowing) & we love thinking about flowers and the negative/positive effects of interpersonal relationships. Today’s topic is Self-Evaluation and this is a favorite of mine because Self-Evaluation is the necessary slap in the face that I need so I can come back to my senses. About a month ago, I had an epiphany about how negative my thinking had become towards my blog. It literally felt like a cup of cold water had been splashed in my face and I was sitting at my cubicle at work practically whisper-yelling (you know that sound you make when you’re supposed to be quiet but you’re experiencing a really intense emotion so you whisper aggressively) at myself,  “Why am I upset that a post only got 5 views? That’s 5 more people than if I kept it on my laptop like I would’ve if I didn’t have this platform. That’s 5 people who may have needed my words this week.”

If I do this for the gratification from other people, I will be greatly disappointed often. If I do this for views and praise only, I’ll find myself shifting the content to only the things I think people will enjoy instead of honestly expressing myself

• Artists and Creatives walk a fine line between genuine, untainted expression and audience targeted content. It’s the line between “What will get me the most views/sales?” AND “What do I want to share with the world?”

QUICK NOTE TO ALL CREATIVES:

You are deserving of praise, whether you know how to say “thank you” or not.

You are amazing. PERIOD.

Your gifts are assets you cannot afford NOT to invest in.

No one sees the late nights, no one sees the dark days but grind anyways…they’ll all be waiting to stand with you in the sun. 

Appreciate your work…if you don’t, no one else will.

Take pride in your product, always give your best.

This world needs more beautiful things, so THANK YOU.

Self-Evaluation is a necessary part of growth. Sometimes it’s painful and really does feel like a slap in the face but…it’s essential.

When’s the last time you had to check yourself? Is today the day you finally come to your senses? Don’t be afraid of a little Self-Evaluation.