Is Self-Love Selfish?

We demonize the word selfish to the point where young men and women don’t understand that taking care of one’s self is beautiful.

We spend our adulthood unlearning the traits that were praised during childhood that ended up almost killing us in our adolescence.

Self-love and self-care are not selfish and if they are then maybe we should redefine selfish so that it doesn’t wrap itself in negativity.

If selfish means prioritizing myself then I’ll be selfish because I know that if I don’t give myself a moment to breathe then I will not be able to show up as my best self for those who truly need me.

I will be selfish if it means loving better. I will be selfish if it means being a better sister, daughter, friend, cousin and aunt. I will be selfish if it means being my best self. Yes, there will be moments in my life where I cannot be the center of the show but demonizing selfishness and prioritizing selflessness without teaching children that they deserve the love they’re praised for giving others can be harmful.

I will be selfish & you should be selfish if selfishness means staying alive. I will be selfish & you should be selfish if selfishness means maintaining healthy relationships. I will be selfish & you should be selfish if selfishness means lasting one more day. I love everyone in my life and I would love to put everyone first but if there are 10 people fighting for first place in my life, where do I fall? And when I fall, who will pick me up? I’m not here to tell you to call yourself selfish. Frankly, it doesn’t matter what words you use to describe the moments when you prioritize yourself. It’s understandable if you don’t want to be called selfish so I admonish you to use language that fits your experience. At the end of the day, all I care about is the fact that you give yourself the love that you so freely give to others because you deserve it.

I am deeply aware that self-love in this season will look a lot different when I am in a different season. I’m a twenty-something year old and my largest responsibilities are my puppy, my vehicle and my current housing investment. What time I wake up, how I spend my day and my finances barely impact anyone else. I am allowed to be selfish in ways that many cannot. I am acutely aware that my ability to be selfish is indicative of a lot of the blessings that shape my reality. I have supportive family and friends; even in my constant desire to be alone, they still show up for me even when I have trouble being present in the midst of everything I am trying to juggle.

This platform is where I share my experience and my perspectives. However, I am constantly growing and changing so these perspectives are ever-shifting. I hope you come along with me on this journey through self-love, self-awareness, healing, growing, and learning. I hope you can resonate with my experience and the words I share on this platform.

Happy Self-Love Sunday!

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