Death is so funny.
Loss is even more humorous.
So here I am, mistaking tears of pain for tears of laughter.
Maybe it’s only funny because I still can’t quite comprehend it’s depth.
We laugh at things we can’t quite wrap our minds around.
Death is different when you see him coming.
Preparing yourself for loss allows a peace when the waves break at the shore.
So here we are, you on the other side, past tense, me in the present.
Is the water warm? I always imagine the moments after death feeling like floating in the middle of the ocean. I watch from the shore, you’re floating with everyone else who exists in the past tense. The waves crash at my feet, toes sandy, heart full.
I am at peace but I know the waves will soon rise and take me under. Over time, the water will rise and mourning, in its many waves, will begin the cycle of grieving.
But grandma, I can’t wait to see you again. I love you and I’ll miss you but I’m grateful you had a full life.
I’ll see you on the other side.