I’ve always been highly intuitive.
As a child, I was introverted, inquisitive and both intrinsically and instinctively fearful.
As the sole inhabitor of my body, I don’t know how these traits were received by others.
Unsure of how I was coming across and deep criticism of self led to many assumptions about myself, the world around me and the people I interacted with.
Each day I learn more and more about myself and I get the chance to look back and understand the worry, fear and actions of my younger self.
Today, I’m 26 years old and in a very weird stage in my life.
I’m all the things I’ve always been while I heal my inner child and determine the best way to show up as my full self.
My desire for control manifests in the Type-A personality that helps me create extensive wedding planning spreadsheets and keeps me organized at work.
My intuition determines who is allowed into the sanctity of relationship with me, shares my space and impacts my peace.
Being intuitive often left me drained after unpleasant experiences so I became more and more intentional about building a wall of protection around me.
This wall protected me as much as it left me feeling utterly alone.
For years I learned more and more about this balancing act, this sheltered openness, this closed-off transparency, this natural duality.
Sometimes failing, sometimes succeeding but always creating boundaries that taught me more about myself and others.
In college I joked with my bestfriend that I’m an open book that you have to unlock to read.
For years I maintained a hard exterior to protect the soft and warm parts of me.
But today, I trust myself. I trust that I know how to determine the type of person I’d like to cultivate a friendship with.
I acknowledge that the walls served me and kept me safe.
However, today I’m choosing to remove them as my defense mechanism.
I’m learning to love and receive love in this season in a healthy and kind way.
xoxo
The Introvert's Escape Maneuver 