The Importance of Self-Love

Happy Self-Love Sunday!

This is the first Self-Love Sunday of the last month of the longest year of many of our lives

But through it all, we are here.

Alive, breathing.

You made it.

And the most important lesson this year has taught me is to have gratitude through the chaos.

This year has been heavy and difficult for many so let’s start this post with two rounds of affirmations (feel free to read the affirmations as “you are” or “I am”, the two are interchangeable and it all depends on what works best for you)

1. I am available for the greatness that awaits me
2. I have made it thus far for a reason
3. I have made it through every difficult day thus far for a reason

1. Gratitude allows me to approach each day with a hopefulness
2. Happiness looks good on me
3. I am expecting and accepting the best now

You are here, you’ve made it. Congratulations, regardless of how difficult this year has been, you have made it through every moment of difficulty thus far.

Happy Self-Love Sunday. Each day, you are deserving of love and I want to spend the rest of the year pouring into myself and everyone who reads my words.

I’d like to start the month off by highlighting the importance of self-love.

A definition of self-love that I really admire and appreciate is by writer Reyna Biddy, she shared this definition on episode 2 ‘Self Care Ain’t Selfish’ on the podcast “Unpack N Bounceback”, she defined self-love as “an internal thing, it’s the things you do for the benefit of yourself” she continued by sharing the difference between her definitions of self-care and self-love, she said “you can love yourself in the way that you carry yourself outside in the world…self-care sets you up for self-love”

Self-love makes space for growth, the establishment of boundaries and it preserves peace. It allows selfless people who have always been praised for prioritizing others to finally give back to themselves.

Self-love, like all other forms of love, should have a healthy and clear source. Your desire to love yourself better should be rooted in a desire that serves not only you but ultimately, everyone around you.

I’ve noticed that the more I learn to love myself, the less I judge others.

The harsh ruler of judgement I used to hold up to those closest to me was birthed in the moments I spent alone. It was difficult to remove the lens of negativity I viewed everyone through because it was birthed by my inner critic. I was hard on myself in a way I never deserved and it bled over into every interaction I had.

When I started believing that I deserved forgiveness, kindness and patience all of my interactions changed.

Not only was I incredibly hard on myself, but I was also willing to sacrifice myself for the people I loved.

My old poetry was littered with “I’d hold the blade if it meant loving you again” and “I’d willingly drown if it meant you stayed above water”.

Self-Love is the space we are all allowed to occupy. It is the air of confidence, comfort and safety that we carry once we allow ourselves to become a safe space. It takes time to quiet our inner critic and it takes time to make ourselves a safe space but once we become a safe space for ourselves we can be a safe space for others.

Self-love is a healthy self-sufficiency, it is an awareness that being alone does not equate loneliness. It is also the awareness that human interaction is beautiful and necessary but should always occur on our terms. We have the right to establish and maintain boundaries that keep us safe, healthy and peaceful.

Yes, there are things we can’t control and yes, there will be moments when the things we want to avoid actually happen but in those moments, we all deserve to give ourselves kindness.

Each Self-Love Sunday I am going to challenge myself to do one thing for the rest of the month, hopefully by the end of the month I will have four new habits I’ve established in the month of December. Feel free to join me.

This Self-Love Sunday I am challenging myself to meditate for at least 5 minutes each day. That could look like a guided meditation using an app or Youtube video, dedicating 5 minutes to contemplating and praying over the words of a Bible verse or 5 minutes of breathing deeply and intentionally while only focusing on your breathing.

For those who have never meditated before, I recommend trying to listen to a guided meditation right before you fall asleep or early in the morning when you first wake up. Also, if you’ve never meditated before I would recommend trying to attack it in shorter increments if 5 minutes seems too long, maybe take it 1 minute or 2.5 minutes at a time.

Happy Self-Love Sunday! I hope you have an amazing week and an amazing month.