Happy Free-Thinking Friday!
I’ve been on this journey of frequent reading for the past few weeks. I’ve been able to read a book a week for the past 5 weeks. It has been a rewarding and amazing experience. For years, I feared I had lost the capacity to read novels since it only took me moments to finish books of poetry but months to barely make it through 40 pages of bestselling non-fictional works.
Last week I read “Pillow Thoughts” by Courtney Peppernell, a 256 page poetic masterpiece. The book is absolutely beautiful and utterly moving. There were so many times that, while reading, I just had to sit down and stare at the words permanently etched into the pages. It almost felt as though Peppernell was able to explain my existence, in a way I’ve never been able to.
A particular poem stuck out to me because it reminded me of something I wrote in 2014 when I was 18 years old.
Here is the poem I wrote all of those years ago:
12/27/2014
Roses budding from this flower bush.
You knelt gently beside to indulge your senses, but not once did you check for thorns.
We all know thorns grow on rose bushes,
This should never come as a surprise.
Beautiful to look at but painful to touch.
Too bad roses were not meant only for the eyes.
With gentle care and focus one can fall in love with a gorgeous rose.
Do not cut off the thorns for fear that you will be hurt.
Do not stare at the rose too afraid to touch
But love it in its entirety.
Love me in my entirety.
Not only when I face the sun,
And not only when my thorns are young but always,
For my love is greater than any pain my thorns could ever cause.
Red roses remind me how rare it is to fall in love with someone who has dissected every letter of the word LOVE:
Losing
One’s self as you
Value everything about someone
Else;
putting your needs above my own. Starving my leaves, petals falling meekly, giving up my own beauty to give you everything you need.
Falling in love with this rose is bleeding red.
Thorns should remind you of the sacrifices you make.
You knew roses had thorns long before you knelt beside this rose bush.
Now, I was blown away when I read Peppernell’s words:
“If you are in love and withering, then this is not love, because when in love, a rose should bloom.”
In 2014, I associated love with loss, pain and the absence of growth. I’m grateful for the fact that I don’t see love it that same way but Pepernell’s poem hit me in the gut because I know I’m not the only person who participated in relationships that never allowed growth and love to coexistent. I now know that if it is truly love then growth and blooming is inevitable.
Today I am going to share a revised version of the poem I wrote in 2014 now that I understand love a lot differently.
6/28/2019
Roses budding from this flower bush.
You knelt gently beside to indulge your senses, but not once did you check for thorns.
We all know thorns grow on rose bushes,
This should never come as a surprise.
Beautiful to look at but painful to touch.
Too bad roses were not meant only for the eyes.
With gentle care and focus one can fall in love with a gorgeous rose.
Do not cut off the thorns for fear that you will be hurt.
Do not stare at the rose too afraid to touch
But love it in its entirety.
Love me in my entirety.
Not only when I face the sun,
And not only when my thorns are young but always,
For my love is greater than any pain my thorns could ever cause.
Red roses remind me how rare it is to fall in love with someone who has dissected every letter of the word LOVE:
Loving
One’s self as you
Value everything about someone
Else;
Making sure your needs align with my own. Nourishing my leaves, petals flourishing as I fill you with all that runs over, never losing sight of my own beauty to give you everything you need.
Falling in love with this rose is bleeding red.
Love isn’t perfect but worthy love promises room for healing and growth.
Thorns should remind you of the sacrifices you make.
You knew roses had thorns long before you knelt beside this rose bush.
Love does not promise the absence of pain or painful experiences. However, love is not built on pain nor is it built on trauma.
Love has the capacity to heal and foster growth.
If you are withering, my dear, it is not love.
Happy Free-Thinking Friday everyone!
The Introvert's Escape Maneuver 