Hello Hello!!
Welcome back to my safe place.
Today is day 2 of the summer writing challenge and thanks to the AI random number generator, the prompt for day 2 of this challenge is number 39.
39. The Gift. Write a scene or story in which a character receives an unusual gift.
Scene
Hope swells in my chest with each passing moment. Maybe, she’ll forget to stop by. Truthfully, I’d love it if she completely forgets to keep this promise. Shadow sits wrapped around my feet, the warmth of his belly, keeping my feet warm.
20 more minutes and I’ll retire to the bedroom and never think about what this night could’ve been. I keep clicking along on my keyboard, writing emails to my students, a Diet Coke on the table beside me. It’s 5:10pm, 10 minutes after my ex was meant to stop by my apartment for an impromptu “chat”. About what? I don’t have the slightest clue, but I’ve never really been good at saying no to her.
She was my first love. She was the most important person in my life 2 years ago butttt if she doesn’t ring my doorbell in the next few minutes…I’ll slink to my bedroom, dragging my sadness along behind me.
Ding-Dong
I breathe deeply as I stand to get the door. Each steps feels light a weighted plate drags behind me, pulling me back, reminding me of how small she made me feel as a goodbye present at the end of our relationship.
“Hi”, Samatha smiles, through perfect teeth. Her energy is electric. I remember being drawn to her the very first time I saw her, across a crowded metro car, during the busiest time of the day. She radiates an energy that just drew me in. I was swept into the whirlwind that is her.
“Hi”, I say back, unsure if I there’s enough air in the room to say more.
“Should we sit”, Samatha slide past me, taking control of the room. This room that belongs to me, this room she’s never been in before. She’s always had a way of commanding the space around her. I scoop Shadow into my arm, comforting him as I make my way to the couch where Samantha sits, beaming at me.
“Hi” I parrot again, unsure of how to start this conversation. “I have something for you”, Samantha says reaching into her leather purse. “Here, sit” she says, patting the spot on the couch beside her as she pulls out a crumpled piece of lined paper.
My heart is pounding out of my chest. A week ago, I could’ve never expected she would reach out to “chat”. I honestly never thought I would see her again. Now here we are, on my couch, in the middle of the afternoon and my stomach is in absolute knots. “What’s up?”, I ask, trying to sound casual and not like I’m dying inside.
“Okay”, she starts, unfolding the paper she extracted from her bag, “my therapist and I have been working on a few things…and I’ve realized I’m carrying a lot of guilt in my heart”
Huh? Why is she telling me this?
“Well”, continues, unaware of the sound of my beating heart filling my ears, “I know I really hurt you during our relationship so I want to step back and give you a better look at our relationship through my eyes”
“Is it okay if I walk you through it all?”
My chest hurts. I don’t wan’t to be here. I want so badly to say no but I also know that if I don’t let her do this she may carry this guilt around forever.
“Mhhmm”, I respond, still unable to speak real words.
For the next 10 minutes, Samantha walks through our relationship from her perspective. She details things I never knew, things I probably should’ve been informed of, and pieces of her personal life that impacted how she showed up for us.
Tears well in my eyes, as she alters my reality. I feel broken, betrayed, and lied to. Samantha never loved me and she used me as a place holder to hold her broken heart together. For the entire length of our toxic and painful relationship, she used me as a crutch when she couldn’t walk on her own. This was a “gift” I could’ve lived my entire life without ever receiving.
I hate her and I hate myself for ever loving her more than I loved myself.
End Scene
The Introvert's Escape Maneuver 